To all of you cesarean birth mamas out there. To those that were planned. To those that were medically necessary. To those that were an emergency. You are not less of a mother because of the way you gave birth.
My story starts off quite different from most. I knew the baby would be coming early due to my cancer. We figured he’d be smaller due to my treatment during pregnancy, but boy were we wrong. He ended up being a month early and still weighed just shy of 7 pounds.
I had back labor from around 25 weeks on. It sucked. I tried everything I could to get him to flip. He faced my back almost the whole pregnancy. Finally around week 35 the back labor stopped and I thought we were in the clear.
I was brought in for my induction. Sometime during the 52 hours of labor he flipped back to being sunny side up. I tried and tried, but was unable to birth naturally. We tried every position, but would start losing him if I wasn‘t birthing on my back.
The doctor came in and we discussed I just needed this to end. We had used 3 foley balloons, cervidil, pitocin, a peanut ball, and different positions. We were on hour 52 and I just wanted to eat and get a shower.
They waisted no time and wheeled me off immediately. My epidural was not working so they tried to place another. It also failed leaving them to place a spinal. My husband came in and the surgery started.
Unfortunately during the surgery they were very close to getting him out and I started feeling sharp pain and tearing. The spinal quit working too.
At first they didn’t believe me. I was asked to wiggle my toes. Instead I lifted my feet being the smart ass I am. I wanted to show I indeed could feel. Once it was established I could feel, they gave me more pain and sedation which did nothing. My option was to continue on or be put under.
At this point it was stupid to be put under so I chose to suffer through it. It was worth it to hear his cry and know we made it.
I could not thank my team enough. They carried out as much of my birth plan as they could. They delayed the cutting, did not bath, and let me have skin to skin while they sewed me up. I know many don’t experience that and I will forever be grateful for those first moments.
I know there’s comments that we’re not true Mother’s and some may feel guilty this Mother’s Day. Please remember you are a warrior and have the battle scars to prove it. You are not less of a mom because of how you brought the child into the world.
Happy Mother’s Day to ALL mothers out there.
