This subject may not interest everyone, but it’s an important part of my story. For that reason will be my first blog.
Ever since my husband and I got married, we had tried to conceive. We had tried everything we could. My OB suggested starting tests and treatments in January 2019, but shortly after our world turned upside down.
I had been in excruciating pain since January 2019. Every Orthopedic said I was perfectly fine even though they had not requested to have any imaging done. Finally, after a third orthopedic appointment, an MRI was ordered. The results showed abnormalities in the bone marrow and spongy tissue surrounding the bone.
My husband and I had an ominous feeling as I was sent for a CT, multiple MRIs, a needle biopsy, a surgical biopsy that removed bone (leaving me on crutches for two months), a PET/CT with contrast and two more needle biopsies. I was finally diagnosed with a form of Non-Hodgkin’s B-Cell Lymphoma on July 24th, 2019.
When I went in to start in-patient treatment on September 26 2019, the normal run of the mill bloodwork was ordered. But when one of my labs came back positive, it put a huge wrench in things. I was pregnant. My husband and I started laughing and we said there was no way. I had been infertile for years and was taking birth control. Of all times to become pregnant, it happened now, right before I was to start chemo I thought that I may lose my mind!
At the ultrasound they confirmed I was anywhere between 2-5 weeks pregnant. It was really early and extremely high risk. I met with more doctors than I can count on my two hands and my toes that day. The oncologists all sat down at a round table and discussed all possible options. Along with the maternal fetal medicine groups’ blessing, we all decided that I could wait until the second trimester to start immunotherapy or chemo when it would not affect the baby’s development. I was placed on high doses of steroids until treatment started to help the pain, ease inflammation, and slow down the cancer growth.
In December 2019, I started treatment and the MRI in February showed that I responded well to treatment and my cancer had reduced in size. However, I was still in a great deal of pain and we could not start radiation until after I had delivered.
Then, the Covid-19 pandemic hit the US and we were faced with more tough decisions when this had already been complicated enough. This all made it hard to be excited about having a baby, something we have tried for since we were married. With bills coming in every which way, me not being able to work, my husband having to be off work to be at doctors and hospital visits, etc., it put a strain on our finances.
He works in the oilfield and as most are aware, the work never stops. There are no sick days, there are no vacation days. You keep working until your days off or until the job is done. In the 7 years of being in the industry, he has only called off once. That was due to his daughter being rushed to the ER. As you can imagine, trying to take care of a wife disabled by cancer in this type of career was pretty hard. My husband was salaried so he did get little pay, but missed out on his bonus when taking days off.
When COVID-19 caused shutdowns, he was laid off. I believe wholeheartedly that they laid him off because of our situation and it was hard for them to work around when he needed time off. He qualified for FMLA [the Family Medical Leave Act], but he would not have been paid.
We need protections for the working class to be able to take paid time off for situations that arise like mine. In no way did I ever think I would not be able to work at 27. I did not think I would be living in constant pain and having to figure out life on my own through this because my husband has to work to support us. I used to work 50-60 hours a week and the mental impact that not being able to work has had is immeasurable.
People do not choose to have these critical life events happen or choose to become disabled, needing support. The Family Care Act could support families like mine, living through the unimaginable. We are trying to get by during a “that never happens” time in our lives and “that never happens” situations occur to families every day. Paid family and medical leave will support individuals and families during these unimaginable time.
